Buying a New Sex Toy – A Personal Decision That Deserves Care
Why This Is More Than Just a Purchase
Choosing a new sex toy isn’t like grabbing something off a shelf — it’s a personal and intimate decision. Whether it’s your first toy or your tenth, the process can affect more than just your physical pleasure. It can influence your confidence, relationships, and how connected you feel to your body.
That’s why it shouldn’t be rushed or treated lightly. Pleasure is personal, and everyone deserves to find something that truly suits their body and their desires.
You Don’t Need to Know Everything — That’s What We’re Here For
New or Experienced, We’ve Got You
Walking into a store for the first time — or even returning for something more advanced — can feel overwhelming. With so many options, it’s easy to feel unsure about what to buy or where to start.
That confusion is normal. Whether you’re exploring solo play, shopping with a partner, or looking for something very specific, our team at Adult Lifestyle Centres is here to help. We listen without judgement, answer questions honestly, and focus on finding the right product for you — not just selling what’s most expensive.
Everyone Likes Different Things
And That’s the Whole Point
Some people want intense vibration, others prefer gentle stimulation. Some need ergonomic shapes for comfort, while others look for toys that work with their partner. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
Your preferences matter, and choosing a toy should reflect your wants, not someone else’s idea of what’s “best.”
What Makes Us Different
No Pressure, No Upselling — Just Real Help
At Adult Lifestyle Centres, our staff don’t work on commission. That’s important, because our goal isn’t to upsell — it’s to make sure you leave with something you’re genuinely happy with.
We know that satisfaction doesn’t always come from the most expensive toy in the store. Sometimes the perfect match is the simplest option — and we’re here to guide you to it. A satisfied customer will always return. A disappointed one probably won’t.
Think of It as an Investment in Yourself
And Yes — It’s Okay to Enjoy It
Pleasure isn’t something to be ashamed of. We all want to feel good. Buying a sex toy is no different from buying anything else that brings joy or improves wellbeing. It’s an investment in yourself, and it deserves the same care and attention.
We aim to make your experience comfortable, not clinical — and never awkward. If it feels like dating, that’s okay too. It might be clumsy at first, but the right fit will always feel worth it.
What We Cater For
A Mission Rooted in Respect, Comfort, and Confidence
Adult Lifestyle Centres are inclusive, respectful, and open to everyone. We cater to:
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First-time toy buyers
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Couples looking to spice things up
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Individuals exploring new preferences or identities
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People with accessibility needs or physical limitations
No matter your reason, your privacy, enjoyment, and safety are always our priority.
Before You Visit – Things to Think About
We’ve put together a helpful list of things to consider before walking into one of our stores — or purchasing online. Being prepared helps you make a more informed and confident decision.
Whether you’re buying for solo pleasure or shared intimacy, the right toy can make a world of difference — and we’re here to make that process easier for you.
Insecurities and Fears – The First Barrier to Break
Why This Comes Before the Toy
Before you think about shapes, settings, or what’s trending — you need to face what’s holding you back. For many, the hardest part of buying a sex toy isn’t the shopping. It’s the emotional baggage that comes with the idea of owning one.
You can’t relax and enjoy pleasure when you’re anxious, ashamed, or judging yourself. And if you don’t feel okay about using a toy, you likely won’t enjoy it, no matter how good it is.
Everyone Has Their Own Hang-Ups
There’s No “Normal” When It Comes to Personal Barriers
Carol Rinkleib Ellison, Ph.D., author of “Women’s Sexualities: Generations of Women Share Intimate Secrets of Sexual Self-Acceptance”, has spent more than four decades helping people work through sexual fears. Her findings?
Each person’s concerns are unique, deeply personal, and often tied to how they were raised or what they were taught to believe about sex.
It’s not uncommon for someone to watch adult films or read erotica — and still feel conflicted about using a toy. That disconnect is real.
For some, it’s the idea of deriving pleasure from something inanimate that feels unnatural. If you were raised to believe that only a partner should bring you to orgasm, then using a toy might stir up guilt, confusion, or shame.
Common Concerns About Sex Toys
“What If I Like It Too Much?”
Some people — like Charlotte in Sex and the City — worry they’ll love their toy too much. That they’ll become so used to intense stimulation that they won’t respond to human touch anymore.
This fear is valid — but not grounded in fact. While toys can feel intense, they don’t “ruin” your body. They add to your pleasure options, not take away from them.
“Will This Make My Partner Feel Inadequate?”
Many men feel threatened by the idea of a sex toy — especially when their partner brings one into the relationship. Some worry they’re not “enough,” or that a toy is replacing them.
But here’s the truth: a toy doesn’t kiss you, cuddle you, or make you feel loved. It can’t hold your hand or whisper sweet things. A toy is not a replacement. It’s an enhancer.
Think of It Like Dessert
Optional, Enjoyable — and There to Make Things Better
A sex toy is like dessert after a great meal. Not essential, but very satisfying. And sometimes, exactly what you need to take things up a notch.
Toys can stimulate areas you didn’t even know could bring pleasure. That’s not a sign of weakness in your partner or in yourself. It’s a sign that you’re curious, evolving, and open to new sensations.
So, What’s Really Holding You Back?
It’s Okay to Be Unsure — But Don’t Let It Stop You
Ask yourself honestly:
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What am I afraid of?
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Who taught me that using a toy was wrong or shameful?
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What would happen if I just… tried it?
Maybe your fear isn’t about the toy at all. Maybe it’s about letting go, trying something new, or giving yourself permission to enjoy something just for you.
You’re Already Halfway There
If You’re Reading This — You’ve Started
You’ve taken the first step. You’re curious, and you’re open — even if just a little. Whether your next step is talking to a partner, walking into a store, or exploring online, you’re not alone.
And if you need a safe space to ask questions and explore, the staff at Adult Lifestyle Centres are here — to listen, guide, and support without judgement.
What Do You Want It to Do?
Start by Asking the Right Questions
Sex toys today are nothing like they were 20 years ago. You’re no longer limited to big, lifelike vibrators — unless that’s what you’re after, of course. These days, there are countless designs, sensations, and functions available, and most don’t even look like traditional toys.
So, before buying, ask yourself: what kind of pleasure are you looking for? That’s often the very first thing you’ll be asked when you walk into a store like Adult Lifestyle Centre.
Where Do You Feel the Most Pleasure?
Everyone’s Different — Focus on Your Body
Start by thinking about where you enjoy being touched. During masturbation or sex, where do you feel the most aroused?
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Do you enjoy clitoral stimulation the most?
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Are you into internal or G-spot stimulation?
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Or do you prefer both at once?
Not sure what G-spot stimulation feels like? Many people experience it most during positions where the angle of penetration curves upward, like being on top with hips tilted forward. If certain positions just hit different — but you’re not quite sure why — this might be your answer.
Also ask:
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Do you prefer targeted sensations in one spot?
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Or do you like broad, body-wide stimulation like a massage?
Even thinking about what you enjoy during oral sex can help. Do you like strong focus on one area, or slower, wider movements across more of the body? These clues can guide you to the toy that’s going to feel just right.
What Type of Toy Fits Your Needs?
Matching Sensations with Function
Once you’ve thought about what kind of stimulation you like, it’s easier to figure out the kind of toy you’re after. There are four basic types of vibrators:
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External vibrators – Great for clitoral or body stimulation
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Internal vibrators – Designed for vaginal penetration
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G-spot vibrators – Curved for targeted internal pressure
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Dual-action vibrators – Stimulate internally and externally at the same time
If you’re unsure what you like, go with a versatile toy. Dual-action or internal vibrators are a solid place to start. Internal toys can still be used externally — and they’re great for experimenting to find out what you enjoy most.
Don’t Forget About Settings and Variety
Some People Want One Speed — Others Want Ten
If you always have sex the same way, you might want something simple and reliable. But if you crave variety, go for a toy with multiple settings and functions. That way you can switch it up depending on the mood — or use different features to explore new sensations.
Whatever you choose, keep your comfort in mind. Girth, shape, and material all play a part in how satisfied you’ll be — so don’t feel pressured to go for the biggest or most extreme toy unless that’s genuinely your preference.
A Quick Word of Advice
Don’t Shop While You’re Horny
It might sound funny, but it’s true — don’t shop for toys when you’re turned on. Just like grocery shopping when you’re hungry, your eyes can get a little bigger than your… well, you know.
When you’re aroused, you might reach for something that seems amazing in the moment — but turns out to be too intense, too big, or just not your style once you get home.
Take your time, think about your needs, and shop for the body and mood you live with most days — not just your fantasy version of the moment.
Still Not Sure? We Can Help
If you’re still feeling overwhelmed, that’s okay. Many people don’t know what they like until they try something. That’s part of the fun. The team at Adult Lifestyle Centres is here to guide you, answer your questions, and make the process comfortable — no pressure, no judgment.
And remember — even browsing is a step toward discovering what brings you pleasure.
Understanding Sex Toy Materials
What It’s Made Of Matters
Now that you’ve narrowed down the kind of toy you want — let’s talk about what it’s made of. Choosing the right material can change everything from how the toy feels to how you clean it and what kind of lubricant you should use.
Here’s a breakdown of the most common sex toy materials, what they’re good for, and what you should know before buying.
Glass – Beautiful, Firm, and Temperature-Play Friendly
Glass sex toys aren’t just stunning — they’re rigid, durable, and ideal for people who like firm pressure or want to experiment with temperature play. They can be warmed up or cooled down safely, and they won’t shatter during use because they’re made from borosilicate glass (the same stuff used in lab equipment and cookware).
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Non-porous, odourless, tasteless
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Easy to clean and compatible with both water-based and silicone lubricants
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Great for internal or external stimulation
Jelly Rubber – Cheap But Comes With Warnings
Jelly rubber toys are affordable and soft, but there are concerns around safety due to phthalates — chemicals once used to make them flexible. Some jelly toys are still on the market, so always check labels or ask a staff member if it’s phthalate-free.
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Always use with a condom
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Store away from other toys — they can melt if they touch
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Has a noticeable smell and taste
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Compatible with both water and silicone lubricants
Latex – Flexible but Not for Everyone
Latex is popular for inflatable toys and fetish gear thanks to its stretch and flexibility. But if you have a latex allergy, skip it entirely.
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Shines beautifully with silicone lubricant
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Must be cleaned with antibacterial toy cleaner before and after use
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Needs renewing powder for storage to keep it soft and supple
Metal – Sleek, Heavy, and Great for Pressure Lovers
Steel sex toys are smooth, non-porous, and carry weight — perfect for those who love pressure and precision. Like glass, they can also be warmed or chilled for temperature play.
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Safe with both water and silicone lubricants
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Easy to clean, odourless, tasteless
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May feel too heavy or intense for some users
ABS Plastic – The Vibrator Workhorse
ABS plastic is strong, smooth, and found in many vibrators, bullets, and external toys. It’s a go-to material for reliable, firm vibrations.
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Easy to clean, non-porous
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Durable and long-lasting
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Sometimes finished with a soft-touch coating for extra comfort
Realistic Feel – Soft, Lifelike, and High Maintenance
Also known as UR3, RealSkyn, Fanta Flesh, or Cyberskin, these toys are made for realism. They’re soft, warm to the touch, and designed to mimic real skin.
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Only use water-based lubricant
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Clean thoroughly after every use — they’re porous
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Apply renewing powder or cornflour after washing to maintain texture
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Stick with your preferred brand if you like a certain feel — formulas vary
Silicone – The Gold Standard of Sex Toys
Silicone is the premium material in the industry, used by top brands like We-Vibe, Lelo, and Jimmy Jane. It’s body-safe, durable, and has a lovely soft, velvety finish.
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Hypoallergenic, non-porous, easy to clean
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Can last for years with proper care
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Use only water-based lubricant — silicone lube can break it down
Skin-Safe Rubber (TPE/TPR) – A Safer Soft Option
Skin-safe rubber (also called TPE or TPR) is a newer material that offers the soft feel of jelly toys without the harmful chemicals. It’s a better choice for those wanting flexibility without the risk of phthalates.
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Slight smell but not overpowering
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Safe to use with both water-based and silicone lubes
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Still porous, so clean thoroughly and store carefully
Aesthetics – Liking How It Looks
Yes, Looks Do Matter
Some people will try to tell you that the way a toy looks doesn’t matter — that you’ll fall in love with it once you feel what it can do. That kind of logic might work for blind dates, but when it comes to sex toys, it’s not quite so simple.
Not everyone is going to have the same reaction to a toy’s appearance. Just like with art, some things will spark something in you — others will do absolutely nothing. If you don’t like the look of it from the start, chances are you’re not going to warm up to it halfway through an orgasm.
It’s a bit like asking someone to sleep with a stranger and expect to fall in love after. That’s not how desire works. That’s not how comfort works either.
You Need to Like What You See
It’s not about throwing a fit if the toy doesn’t come in your favourite colour. But if something about it puts you off — whether it’s the shape, the texture, the material, or just the overall vibe — then your body isn’t going to relax into the experience. And when you’re tense or distracted, pleasure doesn’t flow easily.
The truth is, if you’re lying there focusing on how weird or off-putting your toy looks, you’re unlikely to enjoy it fully. Your body might be doing one thing, but your mind will be somewhere else — probably wishing you hadn’t bought it in the first place.
Attraction Isn’t Just About Function
You don’t need to be into kink or alternative lifestyles to enjoy toys that are quirky, playful, or designed a little differently. You just have to be into the look of what you’re buying. The appearance of a toy taps into the same part of the brain that responds to attraction — the mystery, the tease, the lead-up. If you feel a little spark when you pick it up, that’s your brain saying, “Yes, let’s do this.”
On the other hand, if you’re forcing yourself to use something that doesn’t sit right with you, it can kill the mood before it even begins. You’ll struggle to build arousal, and worse, you might associate sex toys with discomfort or disinterest moving forward — which would be a shame, because the right toy can be an absolute game-changer.
Desire Starts in the Mind
You might not find a rabbit vibe encrusted with diamonds or a black matte finish toy with gold trim — but you should at least find something that makes you feel good when you look at it. Something that draws you in.
If you’re genuinely drawn to your toy — whether because it’s sleek, minimal, colourful, bold, or even a little cheeky — you’re already engaging the part of your mind that fuels sexual excitement. That small moment of attraction? That’s what gives your orgasms a little more edge.
It may sound strange, but it’s true: when it comes to arousal, the brain is a powerful and often unpredictable thing. So why not feed it something beautiful?
Listen – The Sound of a Sex Toy Matters
Let’s Be Honest, Nobody Wants a Buzzsaw in the Bedroom
At Adult Lifestyle Centres, we know that choosing a toy isn’t just about how it looks or what it does — it’s also about how it sounds. That’s why we’re more than happy to take a toy out of the box, pop in some batteries, and let you hear it in action. Don’t worry, we always wear gloves and handle toys with care if they’re not official testers.
What this does is give you a real feel for the intensity of the vibration and the noise level — two very important things that can dramatically affect how much you’ll actually enjoy using it.
Why Sound Shouldn’t Be an Afterthought
Vibrations Are Great — But Not When They’re Deafening
If you’re living with your parents, housemates, or even thin walls, the last thing you want is to make a grand announcement every time you’re in your room seeking a little personal pleasure. That’s why discretion is key.
Lower-end toys often get louder as their power increases. The cheaper the motor, the more it rattles. On the other hand, luxury vibrators are often designed with quiet motors, so you won’t feel like you’ve just started a lawnmower every time you turn it on.
Think of it like trying to relax in a spa while a jackhammer goes off in the next room — not exactly the mood-setter you’re after.
Distraction Kills the Mood
If It’s Too Loud, You Won’t Get Lost in the Moment
Just like with how a toy looks, if the noise is bothering you, then it’s already doing something wrong. That distraction can bring up all kinds of mental blocks — embarrassment, guilt, shame, or simply discomfort.
The brain needs to be on board for pleasure to happen. And it’s hard to stay focused on what feels good when your thoughts are hijacked by, “Can everyone hear this?” or “Did that just echo down the hallway?”
So if discretion matters to you, listen to the toy before you buy it. Make sure it lets you enjoy your moment without worry or interruption.
Get It Right the First Time — Or the Second
No Judgement If You’ve Bought One That Didn’t Work Out
With these tips in mind, you’ll be in a much better place to buy a toy you actually enjoy. Whether it’s your first or your fifth, you deserve one that fits your preferences — not just in sensation, but in sound, look, and feel.
Still not sure where to start? We’ve heard it all, and we’ve put together a list of common mistakes people make when buying sex toys. These come straight from customer stories and staff experiences, so you don’t have to make the same slip-ups.
Let us get it wrong so you can get it right.
