Try Butt Stuff
So, my boyfriend and I had been together for almost 3 years. Our sex life was great, always fun and mind blowing however there has always been a taboo when it came to Try Butt Stuff.
It is always fun to spice things up by using toys, restraints or even just prolonging foreplay. When I started working at Adultsmart I realised how much potential there was for male enjoyment! With all the fleshlights and self masturbators to the prostate massagers and anal sex toys. There is such a variety of things for men to try which is amazing!
Of course, I went home and started talking to my partner about how he should do some butt stuff because its good for his prostate health. And also would be mind-blowingly enjoyable for him.
Of course, he said no “I don’t like anything touching my butt”
He was afraid that if he put something up there it would mean he was gay. Which is a big no, he is as straight as they come and that’s not how it works.
About a month later I came home from work one day with a story I had heard from my manager that day about a couple. Husband was unsure but then after trying butt stuff he actually really enjoyed it, he said it was incredible. As I told the story to him, I saw the consideration on his face. It’s almost like I could see his brain working right there thinking “Maybe I could try it. It could be good”.
But he still was very wary towards the idea. Obviously, I did my best to reassure him that a lot of straight men do this. And that it was okay to try new things like this for HIS pleasure as everything is usually focused on the woman when it comes to pleasure.
He slowly started to open up to the idea the more we spoke about it but nothing ever happened.
Bought a Sex Toy
Then one day, I bought a sex toy that doubled as a prostate massager and a G-spot massager.
I took it home and straight away showed him my newest addition to the collection I already had. He was very interested and started talking to me about the butt stuff!
This Was a Breakthrough!!
He was actually thinking about it and wanted to know more. I told him we could start small and work our way up to the bigger toys it was totally up to him and he agreed. He was finally ready to try it out and give it a solid go. At least then I couldn’t say he never tried.
He got into a comfy position and just started with a finger
I must say he definitely looked surprised. He wasn’t sure what to expect but it wasn’t as bad as he thought it might have been. Then once he was comfortable, we moved to two fingers which again he was surprised.
After a while he was ready to try out the toy.
We lubed it up and ever so slowly started to push it in. Once we got it in where it needed to be, then we turned it on, the feeling he described to me was something close to what I would describe squirting to feel like. He was a little hesitant and wasn’t sure how to feel about this feeling. But he just went with it, it was his first time doing this after all.
I decided that while the toy was doing its thing that I would give him head to make sure he stayed relaxed and enjoyed it all. It did not take long at all once I started that!
I’d say about 3 minutes and he was there, it was incredible. We finished up and cleaned up then I asked him for some feedback
How did it feel? What was is like? Did you enjoy it?
His recount on the experience was “It was very different, I didn’t feel what I think was supposed to happen with the prostate but it still felt pretty good”. He decided we would try it again later on to see if we could get him there without the head!
What to Talk to Your Partner About Before Doing the Deed
So, 95% of the time when you are going to do the deed with someone you would talk to your partner. To know a relative amount of info about that person like their likes, dislikes, turn-ons and turn-offs and all that jazz.
But sometimes before getting intimate with someone there are a few good things to go through. So that when it comes down to it, nothing goes wrong and ruins the whole mood!
Let’s look at a few good topics to start with.
Boundaries
Its always a great place to start with as every person is different and you can never be too sure about where that other person stands with certain things. Always discuss what their boundaries are and be sure that you understand and respect them as one little step over that line could be the be all and end all of that relationship.
Also, make sure that they understand YOUR boundaries. Sex is a very intimate and personal experience; it takes both parties being respectful and understanding of the other to really have true enjoyment and euphoria during sex. So just remember to always ask, some people many not have many but it never hurts to ask.
Preferences
Talk to your partner about what they enjoy! Get to know what and where they like it. There are soooo may different preferences nowadays and a lot of peoples are more open to trying new things if that’s what their partner is into.
And of course, NEVER kink shame or make that person feel weird for what they like. No one wants to have sex when they feel ashamed for liking something.
Roleplay / Foreplay
Roleplay or foreplay is usually such a big part of sex for a lot of people especially women. Find out if your partner enjoys foreplay and find out what kind. Do they like using toys? Maybe they like wearing lingerie and getting into character? And some enjoy the real sensual, romantic, making out with hands touching everywhere and massages. And never forget about yourself, while your partner tells you what they like, respond to them and tell them what you like and how you can both incorporate your likes into foreplay or roleplay that you can both enjoy.
Sex Toys
Toys! They can be so fun and can really spice it up in the bedroom. Now this can be a little bit touchy with some people which is exactly why you should talk about it before going ahead and bring them out during sex. Always remember, toys are there to assist you, not replace you. And also, just so you can be clear with your partner whether they enjoy toys. This is also something you could do together if neither of you have toys, is talk about getting a toy together.
Sexual health and history
Sexual health is always a great thing to talk about especially with a new partner, just to reassure each other whether you’ve gotten any STI’s and if you have been tested for them. This is just good to not spread any nasties and if that is the case to be sure to wear protection. Now, to a lot of people their partners sexual history is a big thing and to others its not even a question that gets asked. But if that question does get brought up always be honest.
Don’t lie about your number just to get with someone and then have to keep hiding it. This may also give you or them an idea with what experience you have and what you can do!
Consent
And now, ladies and gentlemen, last but not least, consent. Consent is the biggest and most important thing to remember with ANYONE. If your partner says “no” or “stop” then listen to them! I can not stress enough how important it is to listen and stop when they say no or stop. If they don’t want it and you continue to keep going, its going to be a horrible experience for them and they are not going to want to do it again.
In the same case if you ever feel uncomfortable and want them to stop what they are doing tell them to stop! Don’t just go along with it if you don’t want it. Consensual sex is the best sex!
Talk To Your Partner
These are all great points to bring up to your partner and person of interest in general conversation, you don’t have to sit them down right before having sex and start asking them questions, that would kill the mood. Try asking them in general conversation or over dinner.
Talking about it in a more comfortable setting will make it more likely that they will open up to you.
