Why You Should Try Butt Stuff With Your Partner
Being with my boyfriend for nearly three years, our sex life stayed exciting and full of surprises. But there was always one thing we hadn’t touched. We hadn’t gotten to try butt stuff yet. It wasn’t something we openly talked about. Like many couples, we avoided it without a clear reason. It just felt like a silent rule we didn’t question.
Things changed once I started working at Adultsmart. I was surrounded by a wide range of sex toys and products made specifically for men. There I saw prostate massagers, anal plugs, fleshlights and other toys designed to boost pleasure. I quickly learned that male anal play isn’t just enjoyable, it can be great for prostate health too. That fact made me think differently.
One night, I brought it up with my partner. I explained that anal stimulation helps increase blood flow and can actually improve orgasm quality. I wasn’t trying to pressure him, I just wanted him to know it was worth considering. The idea wasn’t to change what we had, but to add something new to our routine. Trying butt stuff didn’t have to be a big deal, but it could make a real difference in the bedroom.
Breaking the Stigma Around Men Who Try Butt Stuff
At first he shut the idea down completely. He said, “I don’t like anything touching my butt.” That was the end of it. His reaction wasn’t angry, just closed off. He didn’t want to talk about it.
Later on, the real reason came out. He believed trying anything anal would mean he was gay. He’s a straight guy and felt like that kind of thing didn’t belong in his world. That’s a common thought among men and it’s wrong. Wanting to try butt stuff doesn’t change your sexuality. It’s about feeling good, nothing more.
A few weeks later I came home from work and shared a story my manager had told me. Her friend’s husband was hesitant too. But he tried butt stuff with his wife and ended up loving it. It gave him intense pleasure he had never experienced before. As I talked, I saw something shift in my boyfriend’s face. He wasn’t laughing it off. He looked like he was thinking about it seriously.
I could tell he still had doubts though. I reminded him that this wasn’t about anyone else. It was about his body, his pleasure. He started to soften and listen more. He didn’t try anything that night, but the door was no longer shut.
Trying Butt Stuff for the First Time With a Prostate Toy
Bringing Home the First Prostate Toy
One day I brought home a new toy that worked as both a G-spot and prostate massager. I added it to my collection and showed it to him right away. This time, something was different. He didn’t laugh it off or walk away. He looked curious and started asking how it worked and what it was meant to do. That was the first real sign he might be ready to try butt stuff.
I explained everything clearly and told him we didn’t have to rush. There was no pressure to do anything he didn’t want. I made it clear this was just about him and his pleasure. He listened. After a short pause, he said he’d try it once just to see what the big deal was. I knew then that something had shifted for real.
The First Time He Tried It
He found a comfortable position and started slowly with one finger. His face showed surprise but not discomfort. He didn’t expect it to feel okay. When he added a second finger, he stayed calm and relaxed. That alone was a big step forward.
Soon after, he said he was ready for the toy. We added lube and moved carefully. Once the toy was in place, I turned it on. He looked stunned. The sensation caught him off guard in a good way. While the toy did its thing, I gave him head to keep him relaxed. He came fast. It took less than three minutes and he was clearly shocked by how strong the release was.
Talking About the Experience
After we cleaned up, I asked how it felt. He said, “It was different. I didn’t feel exactly what I expected but it still felt good.” That was honest and fair. He didn’t regret it and he wasn’t ashamed. He just had a new feeling to think about.
After, he told me he’d like to try it again but next time without oral. He wanted to focus only on the toy and see what it could do on its own. That was the moment I knew he was really open. He didn’t just try it, he wanted to try it again. That was more than I had hoped for.
What to Talk to Your Partner About Before You Try Butt Stuff
Before you get into anything sexual, especially something new like anal play, communication matters. You should talk to your partner beforehand. Most people already ask about likes, dislikes and basic preferences, but this kind of play needs a little more planning. It helps you both feel safe, comfortable and fully ready.
Talk about what you’re both open to trying, what you’re not okay with and what you expect. Be honest about boundaries. Bring up toys, fingers, or anything else that might come into play. Speak openly about hygiene, preparation and what to do if either person wants to stop. These chats don’t need to be long or awkward. Just clear and honest. Talking first means there’s less confusion and more fun. It also builds trust, which makes everything better. If you’re planning to try butt stuff, a simple, open conversation can make the experience smoother and way more enjoyable.
Boundaries
Setting boundaries should always come first. Everyone has different limits, and you can’t assume you know what someone is okay with. Before anything starts, ask your partner what they are comfortable trying and what is completely off-limits. Listen closely and respect every line they draw. Even a small mistake can ruin the trust you’ve built and hurt the relationship.
It’s just as important to share your own limits. Be clear about what feels good, what doesn’t, and what you’re not ready for. Honest conversations like this make the experience better for both people. Sex should feel safe, not stressful. Respect and understanding build real intimacy, not just physical pleasure. Asking about boundaries shows you care. Some people may be open to anything, others may need time. Either way, checking in before you try butt stuff makes things more relaxed and keeps both people in control of their own experience.
Preferences
Before you do anything new in bed, talk about what your partner enjoys. Ask what feels good, where they like to be touched and what turns them on. Everyone has different preferences and what works for one person may not work for another. Getting clear on those details helps you both feel more relaxed and in sync.
If you’re planning to try butt stuff, knowing what your partner enjoys can make the experience more exciting and less stressful. They might be curious about things they’ve never done but are open to trying if you are too. Always keep the conversation respectful. Never shame anyone for what they like. That kind of judgment kills the mood and makes people shut down. Openness builds trust. Sex feels best when both people feel accepted. Keep things honest and supportive, and you’ll both feel more confident trying something new together.
Roleplay / Foreplay
Foreplay and roleplay play a huge part in making sex feel good, especially for women. But it’s just as important for men. Before anything starts, find out what kind of foreplay your partner enjoys. Some people like toys. Others enjoy a slow, sensual build-up with deep kissing, touching and massages. Some may enjoy dressing up or taking on a character. These things help set the mood and make everyone feel more connected.
If you’re planning to try butt stuff, foreplay becomes even more important. It helps relax the body and calm the nerves. Take time to talk about what you like too. Sharing your own needs matters just as much. This way, you’re not just guessing what might feel good. You’re working together to make it better. Blend both your interests into the moment. That’s how you build trust and turn something new into something enjoyable for both of you.
Sex Toys
Sex toys can make things way more fun, especially when you’re looking to try butt stuff for the first time. But not everyone feels the same about using them, so it’s always best to talk about it before pulling one out mid-action. Some people love them, others feel unsure, and that’s completely okay. Just like with anything else in sex, communication matters.
Toys aren’t meant to replace anyone. They’re tools to add pleasure, not take anything away. That’s why it’s smart to ask your partner how they feel about using them. You might even find it exciting to shop together and pick something new. If neither of you owns any toys, starting the conversation can open up a whole new level of trust and fun. When both people agree, it makes the experience smoother, more relaxed and often a lot more intense in all the right ways.
Why You Should Talk About Sexual Health Before You Try Butt Stuff
Before you get close to someone, especially a new partner, it’s smart to talk about sexual health. Ask if they’ve been tested recently and share your own status. This isn’t about shame or judgment. It’s about staying safe and making sure you’re not passing anything on. If either of you hasn’t been tested in a while or isn’t sure, then using protection is a must.
For some people, a partner’s sexual history really matters. For others, it’s not something they even think about. But if the topic comes up, be honest. Don’t lie to impress or avoid awkward questions. Being upfront builds trust and shows maturity. If you plan to try butt stuff, clean play is even more important. Anal sex has higher STI risk if you’re not careful, so talk first and protect each other. That way, you both know what to expect and can focus on enjoying it.
Consent Is Non-Negotiable When You Try Butt Stuff
Consent isn’t optional. It’s the most important part of any sexual experience, especially when trying something new like butt stuff. If your partner says no or tells you to stop, you stop. No questions, no pushing, no excuses. Ignoring someone’s boundaries not only ruins the experience, it breaks trust and respect. Once that’s gone, it’s hard to rebuild.
The same rule applies to you. If something doesn’t feel right or you’re not into it, speak up. Don’t force yourself to go along with something just to keep the mood. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable too. Clear, ongoing consent is what makes sex feel good for both people. It keeps things honest and enjoyable. A simple yes means everything, and a no always means no. No matter how far along you are, consent can be taken back at any time. That’s what real respect looks like.
Talking First Makes It Easier
The best time to bring up sex, boundaries or trying something like butt stuff isn’t right before clothes come off. That can feel forced and make the other person shut down. Instead, talk about these things during normal conversation. Bring it up casually, maybe while watching a show, having dinner or relaxing together. This helps keep the mood light and makes it easier for both of you to speak honestly.
When someone feels comfortable, they’re more likely to open up about what they like and what they’re unsure about. You don’t need to turn it into an interview or checklist. Just have a real chat. Share your own thoughts too so it doesn’t feel one-sided. Let your partner know you’re asking because you care and want to make the experience better for both of you.
Open communication builds trust. It sets the tone for a healthy sex life where both people feel seen and respected. If you want to try butt stuff, starting with a casual, honest talk can be the difference between a stressful experience and an amazing one. You’ll both feel more ready, more connected and more in control when you’ve talked about it first.
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